- Three days ago, like the rest of the
world, I stood in horror at the sight of another aircraft gone
down, with still more lives lost. Compounding the tragedy was the
fact that the aircraft killed and injured people currently in the
process of finding the pieces needing to be picked up, in order to
find themselves in the midst of the September 11 attacks.
- Watching the news, I was shocked and
amazed at the callousness and foolishness of a Washington
official, saying that people “need to move on with their lives,
don’t get caught up in the moment.” To that woman, or to the
person who wrote her speech, I say, “Become Human, and then open
your mouth. Until then leave the process of thought and feeling to
the rest of us.”
- Given that this week is the week of the
3rd anniversary of the death of my own son, I’ve had
a lot of time to reflect, cry, ponder, and examine my own
emotions. September 11 was a particularly bad day for me prior to
the attacks, as it was in the ‘tween’ hours of that day 17
years ago that my son was born. So all in all, since that day this
year, I’ve come to some conclusions of my own. Disagree if you
must, but recognize that unless you’ve lost a loved one in an
unexpected manner, it’s impossible to comprehend the journey,
let alone inspect it.
- I’ve discovered that as an adult, I
can cope with losing a grandparent or parent. Losing a grandparent
or parent means you’ve lost a part of your past. The loss can
somewhat be dealt with because the memories of the past are
self-sustaining, comforting, and helpful in those hard times of
loss.
- I’ve discovered that losing a brother,
sister, spouse, or best friend is a lost piece of the present.
This too, can be dealt with to a certain degree, because the
present is just that; the NOW. And there is a redefined starting
point from which life begins differently, albeit painfully.
- I’ve discovered that those who have
children, for those who have lost children, it’s a loss of the
future. There is little to look back on, because with our
children, we as parents look forward. All of our life plans are
centered around that child or children. And with the loss of a
child, the future becomes uncertain. The older the child is, the
harder it seems. Additionally, it’s that a literal piece of self
goes with the child. A piece that cannot be recovered through
counseling, church, medication, or time. The best hope is that the
scars will not continually be torn open with each small step
forward. Whether
it’s a stillborn child or a child lost to tragedy in the later
years, it matters little. And worse, not one of us can feel or
sympathize with a parent who has lost a child. We each have our
own feelings and our own feelings are not akin to any other
person’s feelings. The loss of a child is unique and individual.
This, coupled with the lack of foresight or future, seems to be
the most tragic of all.
- Perhaps this is selfish to suggest. I
can only speak to personal experience having lost parents,
brothers, best friends, grandparents, and my son. But more than
this is about me, it’s about all of those in New York and
Washington who have lost loved ones recently. It’s about society
understanding that in addition to the wounds of the country,
economy, social and fiscal moments, there are thousands who have
lost friends, lovers, children, parents, brothers, sisters,
uncles, aunts, and so much more.
- Our nation, our society, our
cities, our neighbors, our families are each undergoing their own
form of healing, grief, and renewal during these times of great
hurt and loss. I suspect that the tragedies have yet to cease, and
more sorrow is eminent. With this in mind, and as we move into the
holiday season, I pray that each of us may bear in mind the
special needs of those in pain, of those who have lost so much,
and that we might spare a little extra change, time, personal
contact, a hug, smile, or even just a positive thought. The media
is hurtful enough; we as citizens of the earth may balance out the
damage the media rains upon us hourly. Help a friend in need,
extend a hand to those left cold from recent events. Find solace
in each other, because as humans, this is what we were given heart
and soul for. The purpose of our existence is to make our own
lives better through service to our fellow human beings. Through
bettering our world, we better ourselves.
- As Five Fingered Humans, we are indeed, all the same.
- God bless us all.
